Thursday 28 January 2016

Cancerversary

I think it's a date that every cancer patient remembers, pretty much about the same as "where were you when you heard about the 9/11 attacks" 

Being told I had cancer everything turned into a blur and I really did not remember much of what the consultant said but I will never forget the look in his eyes or the fact he took my hand to tell me.  I knew life was to change just the way I did on September 11th 2001.

For various reasons I couldn't do chemo or radiotherapy so being told I had cancer was actually 12 days after my surgery and in fact cancer free, so mind boggling really. But it being the first day out of bed and struggling with an uncooperative leg which still is today I was beginning to see how life would change,  getting home meant needing carers for everyday tasks and the fatigue was and is awful. I'd also need scans and appointments every 3 months which would cause scanxiety around the results.  

Maybe it's something that only those who have experienced it first or second via immediate family but the cancerversary can cause a lot of mixed emotions some may have dark thoughts which should be acknowledged as being ok while some celebrate it as a sign of life and continued survival. Others let. It pass by as another day, each way is equally acceptable and those around them should acknowledge their way of marking the day. 

  I recently had my cancerversary and found it really difficult possibly because I had a letter which means possibly more spine surgery which is a risky undertaking, but otherwise I just let it pass with it much acknowledgement.   

Whether you celebrate it, acknowledge it with a. Duvet fort  or simply ignore it, keep doing what's best for you. 

1 comment:

  1. Sorry I hadn't seen this post before. Hard to know what to say really, not someone close to you who can offer to do the laundry or bring a casserole (or more realistically a pizza!) but just keep on keeping on and keep on smiling when you can. Life's a bitch at times (but cancer a bigger one) and I hope those close to you help you through each day. So proud (and grateful) of all you do to let those suffering know that others are thinking of (and rooting/caring for) them via very tangible blankets. Please know lots are thinking of you too, through the high and low days :) xx

    ReplyDelete